I feel sad tonight. Maybe not sad, bittersweet I guess is a better word to describe it. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Cecilia told me about a month ago that she and her new husband of one year, Matt, were going to be moving to Jacksonville at the end of July because of a great job promotion Matt had received. Of course I was extremely happy for both of them. That is, as happy as I could be with the knowledge that my sister was going to be moving 5 hours away from me! But seriously, let me say at the beginning of this post that I’m truly happy for the two of them. This is a great promotion for Matt and a fabulous opportunity. They are such a great match and I’m excited about their new adventure!
So now that I’ve gotten the whole, “I’m a bigger person,” thing out of the way, let me tell you all the reasons I don’t want her to go. I love my sister. And the memories we have together keep flooding into my mind as I think of her not being closeby. I remember few things as a child, but I love thinking back to when we were children living on Honeybee Creek with our parents. (Yes, this is the same street that Dan, Brittain and I live on now.) Cecilia and I slept in her room in her double bed growing up. We had separate rooms…we chose to sleep in the same room. I remember nights when our parents put us to bed and told us to go to sleep. As soon as they went into the living room and closed the hall door, that’s when the fun began. We would play games, one of our favorites being “Don’t make me laugh” and it never failed that either Mama or Daddy would have to come to the back of the house during this game. We would hear that hallway door open and we would (of course) be in the middle of laughing about something. We would quickly bury our faces in our pillows to keep quiet. We got really good at this. We were so good that we could tell which parent was coming down the hall based on the sound of their footsteps. I don’t recall whether or not we ever actually got in trouble. I’m sure we did, but it’s obviously not what I remember. What I remember is the fun time spent with my sister on those nights. I won’t ever forget them. We also played a game quite often that we titled “Jackie.” If you were at my wedding rehearsal dinner and heard Cecilia’s “toast”, she described this game perfectly while reminiscing. The bottom line – we both wanted to be our mom when we were pretending to be “grown-ups.” One of us would say, “Hey, Jackie. How are you?” And the other one would answer, “I’m fine, Jackie. How are you?” I can still remember how much fun we had.
I believe that a lot of the reason we have such a close relationship is because of our closeness in age. We are 2 1/2 years apart, so it was great growing up and being at the same school for a few years. We went to different colleges, but reconnected again the summer before Cecilia was a senior at UGA when we moved to Nashville for the summer. After that, I decided to go to graduate school and ended up choosing UGA, so we were together again, sharing an apartment. Somehow we kept ending up together. It was just the way it worked out. Plans always fell into place that way. It was always meant to be.
There’s so much of me that feels like that was yesterday, and then there are times when I feel like it was an eternity ago. We went on to get jobs, one of which was at United Way in Macon. We both ended up there at the same time for a couple of years. Lived together and worked together. Now that was fun…with a few rough times sprinkled in. 
Eventually Cecilia moved to Greensboro to work for the Ritz and then I moved back to Griffin when Dan and I got married. Since she moved to Greensboro we’ve lived in separate towns, but our connection never weakened. If anything, it became stronger. I always knew she was there for me. As the girls on Grey’s Anatomy say, “She’s my person.”
Now, I’m skipping a lot here, but I want to jump forward a bit to when I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled when I took the pregnancy test that day and saw the results. But, I have to tell you…there was one person that was as excited as me (and possibly even more). My sister. After finding out, we spent the next few months on the phone (a LOT) talking about what and who this baby would be. A boy or a girl…we didn’t care…as long as it was healthy. But, I really wanted a girl and therefore, so did she. Cec was the first one I called the day we found out she was a girl. Dan and I had the nurse doing the ultrasound put the “correct” color bow in a box for us. We asked her not to tell us the sex in the office. We waited until we got home, set up the movie camera and opened the box on camera so we would have our reaction on film for all posterity. After finding out ourselves, Cecilia was the first person I called to share the news with. Still, to this day, I wish I had it on speaker phone when I called. We do have the phone call on video, but it’s just my voice that you hear. But OMG do I wish you could have heard the other end of that conversation! She and Matt were on vacation, but she was waiting for my call and picked up after the first ring. All I said was, “Hey………it’s a girl”…and the rest of the conversation was just screams (from both of us). I couldn’t understand a word she said, but I didn’t need to. I am crying now just thinking back to that moment. It was the best.
It was after Cecilia and Matt returned from their trip that I received my first “baby gift.” It was a beautiful painted rocking horse that adorns Brittain’s nursery. Cecilia said that they had been “eyeing” it since the beginning of the trip, but couldn’t get it without knowing the sex yet (the colors were quite obviously for a girl). She said as soon as they got the call from me, they purchased the rocking horse to bring home. It is still the most special gift I received.
Despite Cecilia’s insanely busy work schedule, she took time off to be here for me when Brittain was born. She arrived in Griffin the night before and was right beside me in the hospital before I was taken back for surgery. And aside from Dan and me, she was the first one to see Brittain after she was born. My favorite part in Brittain’s first year video that Dan made last year is the film footage we have of all the family walking into the room to see Brittain for the first time. (Yes, I made everyone wait until I held her first). My sister walking into that room…I will never forget it. Great…I’m crying again.
I was in the hospital for a week. When I think back, the week is kind of a blur. We had a lot of visitors and family that helped us out so much. I felt like I was in and out of consciousness because of the pain pills I was on. But there are a few vivid moments and one of those was waking up in the room in the middle of the night to see Cecilia holding Brittain and bouncing around the room with her saying, “Bop, bop, boppin the head. We’re bop, bop, boppin the head.” If you don’t recognize this, it’s some random thing from a “Will and Grace” episode. How this popped into her mind I will never know, but she must have known something that the rest of us didn’t because it worked. It calmed Brittain from her screaming. I occasionally repeat this to Brittain even now. Brittain just smiles. I know she remembers.
Brittain and Cec had a connection from the beginning and that connection hasn’t changed in the least. When Aunt CC is around, I might as well be invisible. But, I don’t mind it. Cecilia is fun. Even I know this! During one of our visits to Athens, I left to go shopping while Cec stayed home with Brittain. Cec is kind of a pack rat so she always has fun (and sometimes unusual) stuff to play with. That afternoon I came home to find Brittain playing in a huge refrigerator box in the living room…naked! Do you think the child wasn’t having the time of her life? Pah-leeezze, I’m pretty sure Brittain looked up at me when I walked in and said, “Oh hey. Do you actually need something because really, you should go back out and do…whatever it is you want to do.” Hell, I can’t blame her. I do love me some Aunt CC.
But, I have to tell you. Cecilia doesn’t stop with Brittain. She’s always been a generous gift-giver with me. (Did I ever tell you my “Seven” jeans story? I’ll save that for later). But especially after Brittain came along and money became tighter…you know childcare, food (I can’t believe they have to eat everyday), diapers, milk (good grief)…she started doing even more special things. You know, getting-the-mommy-out-of-the-house-so-she’ll-feel-more-normal kind-of-things.
What can I say? I love it that we still quote lines from our favorite movie, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” — “My shrink is right. I’m unloved, unappreciated…I only have one car.” Or how about, “A parking place right in front. Now THAT’s a good omen.” And so many more.
I love it that Cec will call me from work (as she did today) and we can talk about the most random thing in the world…for an hour…when both of us have tons of other things that we should be doing.
I love it that I can send her an email titled “Urgent” and in the body of it I explain that I REALLY need her help choosing which paper plates I should get for Brittain’s 2nd birthday party. And, in the midst of all she has to do, she emails me back within 10 minutes with her suggestions and feedback on each.
I love it that she knows every single tiny thing about me. And I know the same about her. And there’s no judgement anywhere in sight. We love each other unconditionally.
I love it that she thinks my child is so wonderful…and she thinks I’m a wonderful mother no matter how many stupid things I do…or how many good things I don’t do.
So, I can’t help it. It sort of feels like it’s “the end of an era.” But I know that’s not right. It’s really more like the beginning of an era. (Is there such a thing?!) The years ahead of us are going to have more memories than we could ever imagine. I look forward to every visit and every moment we have together. I cherish them now. I will cherish them always.
I love you, Cec. What can I say? You’re the best.
I went back through a lot of my pictures and decided to choose some of my favorites of Brittain and her Aunt CC:
